More Soccer

Soccer season is in full swing. Nathan had practice last night, Michael has a game tonight, both kids have a game on Thursday, and Nathan has another game on Friday. I am happy that the kids are busy this summer instead of sleeping all day and playing video games all night. I just wish Nathan had his license so he could drive himself around to practice and home games, and Michael to practice. It would be nice to have a break every once in a while.

I am glad to keep busy this summer. If I sat around twitteling my thumbs, I would fret about Barry leaving in a few months. He has orders for Alaska and the kids and I are staying here so Nathan can graduate from the high school that he started in. If it were just Michael and myself, we would drop everything and move with Barry. However,  I feel like I robbed Nathan of being a kid so I want him to experience normalcy for once in his life and if that means I have to sacrifice my wants and needs, then so be it. It is a constant balancing act between what is best for him, Michael, and Barry. My needs hardly ever enter into my decisions any more. But this is the life of a parent! If I were to sit still all summer, I can only imagine what my brain will fret about and tie myself into knots over things out of my control. One of my hopes is to be employed in the fall so I can keep my mind occupied.

I get it that Alaska is way LESS DANGEROUS than Iraq or Afghanistan. The logical part of my brain says that he will not be shot at so he is safe. Then the illogical part of my brain reminds me that he could be eaten by a bear or freeze to death in the Alaskan winter. One again, the logical part of my brain reminds me that these are silly fears that will not come to pass. I guess that I have an over active imagination  of the negative kind. Here's hoping I will be employed in the fall!

Busy Weekend

Whew! What a weekend. Michael had a soccer tournament - enough said. For those of you who have never experienced a competitive soccer tournament I will describe it for you.

Day One
Wake up at 4am - check
Take shower and get dressed - check
Pack mid morning breakfast/lunch - check
Make breakfast - check
Wake up child participating in said tournament - check
Feed child - check
While child is eating, pack car with tent, food, directions, soccer ball, my backpack, child's bag of soccer supplies, pillow, and blanket - check
       * pillow and blanket are for the child to sleep on the way to the
          tournament because it is, 4 am!
Have child dress in uniform - check
Get in car, turn on GPS and program destination - check
Leave home for the next 14 hours - check
Pick up team mate number one - check
Pick up team mate number two - check
Drive 1.5 hours to tournament, make sure you get lost once or twice to make things exciting - check 
Get to tournament fields - check
Children spill out of the car, gathering their equipment - check
Unpack chair, camera, and book, oh wait did you remember to pack book, chair and camera?, yes, yes you did, whew! - check
Wander aimlessly until you find your field - check
Set up chair, open book, take off shoes because they are now soaking wet after walking past 12 fields on wet grass - check
Try to read book - check
Greet other crazy parents for getting up so early to bring their kid to a soccer tournament - check
Try reading book - check
Catch stray soccer balls that come your way - check
Try reading book again - check
Put up umbrella to keep dry, oh no, did you bring it from the car? yes! another save - check
Try reading book again, in the rain - check
Wait for coach to show up and warm up kids - check
Still wait for coach - check
Waiting still, stand up, will you have to go warm them up? - check
Sit back down, another parent is going to warm them up - check
Try reading said book again - check
Greet more arriving parents, this time from the other team - check
Try reading that darn book again, you brought it for a reason, while holding up the umbrella - check
Give one of the three children the car keys because they forgot their water, cleats, uniform, head, etc in the car - check
Try reading the book again - check
Coach arrives and gathers parents for a chat about tournament rules - check
Sit down in chair and look at book - check
Give up reading the book - check
Watch both teams warm up, do ref checks, and captains meeting - check
Game starts, watch game - check
Take out camera to take pictures of child in game - check
Cheer, yell, scream, and congratulate other parents like their child is the best player in the world - check
Keep umbrella up because it is pouring on you - check
Half time - check
Repeat cheer, yell, scream, and congratulations - check
Pack up soccer gear and bring back to the car - check
Gather tent, blankets, pillows, food, and soccer bags to bring to field - check
Set up tent in the pouring rain, you are now soaking wet - check
Rain stops - check
Watch other soccer teams, particularly the girls because you are chaperoning boys - check
Listen to said boys flirt with girls on the field - check
Watch boys ask girls for their numbers - check
Go back to watching soccer game - check
Game over, move camp to next field where you will play afternoon game - check
Humidity level rises from unbearable to  deathly - check
Move tent a second time because the sun moved and you are now getting sunburned - check
Watch more soccer games - check
Boys start to warm up for second soccer game - check
Game changes fields so move tent and all camping materials - check
Set up new camp - check
Watch second game - check
Repeat cheer, yell, scream, congratulations for first half
Half time - check
Repeat cheer, yell, scream, congratulations 
Take down camp, pack up all supplies take to car and repack in car - check
Get kids to car - check
Pack all kids gear in the over stuffed trunk - check
Pile into car, set GPS for food, leave for food - check
Get lost once before you stop for food - check
Stop for food - check
Pile back into the car, set GPS for home, leave for home - check
Listen to boys text to girls from earlier soccer games - check
Watch 2 of the three children in your car fall asleep 12 hours after you got up - check
Drop off child number 3 - check
Drop off child number 2 - check
Drive home, carry in all clothes from today in to wash - check
Run to the bathroom because you only made it to the port-a-potty once all day and you are about to pee your pants - check
Wash uniform to remove all mud from today's games - check
Collapse into bed at 7 pm - check
Go to sleep, wake up, and repeat for day two
Did you remember to actually take pictures when you had the camera out? no. well, there is always tomorrow!

There you go. Now you have experienced a soccer tournament.

Busy Spring

We are at it again. Summer soccer has started and we are busier than ever. Both kids decided to try the school track team this spring so they were doing track and soccer at the same time. Track finally ended for both kids yesterday. Whew! Nathan lettered in track; had a fantastic final meet where he was top 3 in all of his events! He ran sprints, relays, and jumped the long jump. Great job Nate! Michael was on the jr high track team and he loved it. He tried running distance and sprints, high jump and long jump. He was the best 7th grade long jumper on the team - winning every meet he participated in. Way to go Mike!! I believe he will one day be a fabulous middle to long distance runner. Now that track is over, we can concentrate on summer soccer.

No Job Yet :(

I know I should feel grateful for all the blessings I have in my life - a fabulous husband and kids, food on the table, a place to live, clothes to wear........  and I am, but I feel like a total failure in spite of all my good fortune! I feel like the last 3 1/2 years of school was a waste of my time. I never dreamed it would be this hard to find a job. The more places I apply, the more rejection letters roll in. It is a vicious cycle, apply and get rejected or don't apply, don't get rejected but have no chance of getting hired.

I've come to realize that I take rejection very personally. It's hard when people won't even give you a chance. I think it is even harder when they interview you, then reject you for someone "more qualified", and wish you "good luck in your endeavors". I feel like I will never find a job.